Articles

Help Save My Marriage- I Still Have Hopes

by Rex Freiberger

The rate of divorce in America is at the highest point it has ever been. Trying to figure out how to save your marriage is hard because each marriage is completely different. You can look to books, classes, support groups, counselors, or even television shows for advice on how to stay together.

The hardest and most difficult divorces are those that involve children. Not only does divorce increase the number of single parent families, it divides incomes, which makes it much harder to support the children. Thus, the number of children at or near the poverty level is on the rise. This financial hardship doesn't even take into account the social and emotional problems the children will face. It isn't hard to understand why children are the most important reason that couples ask "Please, help save my marriage".

Many people have written books on the subject "help save my marriage." Some of these authors include Dr. Phil, James Dobson, and Laura Schlessinger. These are just a few of the authors who have written books and had shows that some people say has actually helped them to save their marriages.

An important reason for divorce is that couples think that they do not love each other. The problem with this type of reasoning for divorce is that love can diminish and that there is no hope of return. The definition for love, which is an action verb, is that a person cares for someone else's requirement than his own needs.Though a person is very angry about the present situation, if he shows love, it will be reciprocated.

Stopping to communicate calmly and clearly when filled with blame, rage, and the pain of a pending separation or divorce seems impossible. Yet, couples who can muster this level of control, clarity, and vulnerability, often experience their spouse hearing their needs and not becoming defensive. Leaving the anger and condescending attitudes behind, opens the space between you so that you may both work toward understanding and having your needs met from your spouse.

Those attempting to "help save my marriage" need to remember that trying to help save marriage is very hard work. It takes a lot of effort and time and results are not immediate. Couples who are willing to try can do it, however. If two people really desire to stay in the marriage and will do what is necessary to heal their union, the marriage can be saved. It often becomes even stronger than ever and the partners are much happier.

In the old days, 'til death do us part" had a binding meaning and no one went around asking how to save marriage. Seems like those days are over, and people often find themselves asking "How to save my marriage?" You can save your marriage through an array of resources available to those willing to work things out, without going to the extreme of divorce. You shouldn't decide to end your marriage just because it isn't as exciting as it once was. To avoid ending your marriage you must understand that you are making a permanent commitment and be confident enough to stay and work things out.

Published January 13th, 2008

Filed in Marriage, Relationship